A Letter for my Best Friends

Hey Buddy,

How are you? I know it's been a long time...like really long one, n I really afraid to ask this question caz I know the next moment will be like, my face and your fist 😐 but deep down I think I deserves this...

Let me tell you one thing today which I wanted to tell you since long time ago.... I am sorry it takes hell of a time but I have to now, because it's now or never moment... I am a coward. I should be saying this to your face, not writing this letter bur as far as I know that won't possible so this way it is...

We met online in 2015, our first year of collage... We had different college time but I always remember that time when we chat a lot, those endless chat & calls how can I forget that, well I still remember many of those moments though 😅, it doesn't make any sense now but that time was much important and precious for me...

I guess the question appear in your mind is why am I sending this now?? I'll share this answer in last...

Then something happened, I was off the edge, kinda lost in life when I am not able to figure it out what is right and what is not... I was never able to talk to you like before and I guess all series of events happened.... I thought I was under control but I wasn't and so I just disconnected myself from the world to be precise all of my best friends... I don't know about you but for me you always will be my best friends... and I have to leave with this misery of abandoning you guys for the rest of my life 💔💔💔

I was not in the right state I was not able to felt anything at that time it seems like my emotions were turned off...Joy, happiness, anxiety, satisfaction, entertainment, praise, desire, sympathy, pain, sadness non of it.... as a best friend I needed to talk to you about that at least once, but at the same time I was absolutely terrified to losing you... Because I was losing all of my people at that time So I disconnected and left, I admit it was an absolutely idiotic move but if I ever had talk about this we are still together may be...

It became normal after some months so I thought I should come back... Every year I decided to talk but couldn't do it so every time I waited for the one precious day and what a better day than the birthday and I guessed I could make a fresh start but that day comes and goes but I couldn't do it because I thought I'd rather let you down once... than let you down for the rest of your life. 

So now back to your question: why now???

As I mentioned earlier that my recent lil break helped me to meet my old self back and since last few days I am reflecting on some old good memories and moments with my best people and I thought I need to write this to all of them with whom I'm still in contact... I know I've lost majority of people but whoever remains I need to thank them... I know I have to work on my communication skills a lot and I'm doing that too trust me... It'll gonna take a lot of time but have to start it from somewhere.

So the reflecting moment of those years leads me here. Buddy you helped me a lot, maybe you are gonna say that you did nothing that much great but I remember that small talks in last few years and those lil helps, it meant a lot to me and for that I owe you one I guess...

In the end sorry for this hell of a long letter may be you are not habituated by this specially from me but I just wanted to tell this for the last many years so yesssss it is what it is... well it's more then that but don't wanna bore you much though...

So All of my best friends I just wanna say THANK YOU for everything you are incredibly an amazing person that anyone can ever have in life, an outstanding friend and my best friend, and I am so sorry I left It won't happen again.

I hope you can forgive me and give me one last chance if I still deserve...

With great love and respect,

Your idiot friend who is back now :)